{"id":3515,"date":"2018-02-28T17:39:01","date_gmt":"2018-02-28T17:39:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/valeriu.pinzaru.ro\/?p=3515"},"modified":"2018-02-28T17:39:01","modified_gmt":"2018-02-28T17:39:01","slug":"jurnalul-unei-neveste","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/2018\/02\/28\/jurnalul-unei-neveste\/","title":{"rendered":"Jurnalul unei neveste"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Ziua 0<\/strong>:
\nPuturosul iar \u00eenfipt \u00een fotoliu la televizor cu telecomanda \u00een m\u00e2na, a\u015ftept\u00e2nd ca eu s\u0103 fac totul \u00een cas\u0103.
\nZiua 1<\/strong>:
\nAzi am s\u0103rbatorit 25 de ani de c\u0103s\u0103torie\u2026\u015fi nu prea a fost prea mult de s\u0103rb\u0103torit. C\u00e2nd a venit momentul s\u0103 retr\u0103im noaptea nun\u0163ii, el s-a \u00eenchis \u00een baie \u015fi a pl\u00e2ns.
\nZiua 2<\/strong>:
\nAzi el mi-a zis ca are s\u0103-mi zic\u0103 un secret. Mi-a zis c\u0103 e impotent \u015fi dore\u015fte ca eu s\u0103 fiu prima care afl\u0103 acest lucru. De fapt nu mi-a zis nimic ceea ce nu \u015ftiam! De fapt el crede c\u0103 nu am remarcat \u00eenc\u0103 acest lucru.
\nZiua 3:<\/strong>
\nC\u0103s\u0103toria noastr\u0103 e pus\u0103 \u00een dificultate. O femeie are dorin\u0163e.
\nIeri am v\u0103zut un film erotic \u015fi am izbucnit \u00een pl\u00e2ns.
\nZiua 4<\/strong>:
\nS-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat o minune! Pe pia\u0163\u0103 exist\u0103 un nou m edi cament care \u00eei va rezolva \u201cproblema\u201d\u2026se nume\u015fte Viagra. I-am zis c\u0103 dac\u0103 va lua Viagra, totul va fi ca \u00een noaptea nun\u0163ii. Cred c\u0103 asta va avea un efect pozitiv.
\nI-am \u00eenlocuit calmantele cu aceast\u0103 Viagra, \u00een speran\u0163a c\u0103 \u00eei va cre\u015fte \u015fi altceva dec\u00e2t pofta de m\u00e2ncare.
\nZiua 5<\/strong>:
\nCe fericire!!!
\nZiua 6<\/strong>:
\nCe fumoas\u0103 e via\u0163a!!! Dar e totu\u015fi dificil s\u0103 scrii c\u00e2nd faci asta.
\nZiua 7<\/strong>:
\nCred ca Viagra asta i se ridic\u0103 la cap. Ieri am fost la McDonald\u2019s \u015fi v\u00e2nzatorul m-a \u00eentrebat daca vreau un Big Mac. El a crezut c\u0103 e vorba de el. E totu\u015fi dr\u0103gu\u0163. Nu cred c\u0103 am fost mai fericit\u0103 vreodat\u0103.
\nZiua 8<\/strong>:
\nCred ca a luat prea multe pastile \u00een week-end. Ieri \u00een loc s\u0103 tund\u0103 gazonul a scos morcovii din gr\u0103din\u0103\u2026folosindu-\u015fi noul lui prieten.Pe mine m\u0103 doare un pic locul \u0103la.
\nZiua 9<\/strong>:
\nNu am vreme s\u0103 mai scriu. S-ar putea s\u0103 m\u0103 prind\u0103.
\nZiua 10<\/strong>:
\nBine, trebuie s\u0103 recunosc: m\u0103 ascund de el! Vreau s\u0103 spun c\u0103 nici o femeie nu ar putea mai mult dec\u00e2t at\u00e2t. Cred c\u0103 lucrurile se \u00eenr\u0103ut\u0103\u0163esc.El \u00ee\u015fi ia acum pastilele cu coniac. Ce s\u0103 m\u0103 mai fac? M\u0103 simt ca \u00een\u0163epat\u0103 de cuie pe tot corpul.
\nZiua 11<\/strong>:
\nM\u0103 simt de parc\u0103 a\u015f fi ame\u0163it\u0103. E ca \u015fi cum ai tr\u0103i \u00eempreun\u0103 cu o ma\u015fin\u0103 de g\u0103urit. Azi diminea\u0163\u0103 m-am trezit lipit\u0103 de pat. M\u0103 dor p\u00e2n\u0103 \u015fi sub\u0163iorile. El e un porc.
\nZiua 12<\/strong>:
\nAzi \u00eemi doresc ca el s\u0103 fi fost homosexual. Am \u00eencetat s\u0103 m\u0103 mai machiez, s\u0103 m\u0103 mai sp\u0103l pe din\u0163i\u2026 el e tot timpul \u00een urma mea.P\u00e2na \u015fi c\u0103scatul a devenit periculos\u2026
\nZiua 13<\/strong>:
\nDe c\u00e2te ori \u00eenchid ochii urmeaz\u0103 un atac prin surprindere. E ca \u015fi cum ai dormi cu un cruci\u015f\u0103tor \u00een pat. Am probleme la mers \u015fi, dac\u0103 el mai \u00eencearc\u0103 o dat\u0103 treaba aia, o s\u0103-l ucid cu m\u00e2inile mele.
\nZiua 14<\/strong>:
\nA\u015f face orice s\u0103-l pot opri. Nimic nu mai func\u0163ioneaz\u0103. Am \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eembrac ca o c\u0103lug\u0103ri\u0163\u0103 numai spre a-l opri, dar asta \u00eel a\u0163\u00e2\u0163\u0103 \u015fi mai tare. Ajutooor!\u2026
\nZiua 15<\/strong>:
\nCred c\u0103 totu\u015fi o s\u0103-l omor. M\u0103 \u00een\u0163eap\u0103 orice lucru pe care m\u0103 a\u015fez. Pisica \u015fi c\u00e2inele nu se mai apropie de el. Nici prietenii nu ne mai viziteaz\u0103. Noaptea trecut\u0103 i-am zis sa se fu*\u0103 singur\u2026 \u015fi a f\u0103cut-o\u2026
\nZiua 16<\/strong>:
\nNemernicul a \u00eenceput s\u0103 se pl\u00e2ng\u0103 de dureri de cap. Azi \u00eemi doresc s\u0103-i explodeze scula. Cred c\u0103 o s\u0103-i propun s\u0103 treac\u0103 din nou la calmantele lui.
\nZiua 17<\/strong>:
\nA \u00eencetat s\u0103 mai ia Viagra dar nu-\u015fi face efectul. Doamne! iar vine \u00eenspre mine!\u2026
\nZiua 18<\/strong>:
\nA trecut din nou pe calmante. Puturosul iar st\u0103 \u00eenfipt \u00een fotoliu la televizor cu telecomanda \u00een m\u00e2na, a\u015ftept\u00e2nd ca eu s\u0103 fac totul \u00een cas\u0103.
\nCe fericire absolut\u0103 !!!<\/p>\n

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Ziua 0: Puturosul iar \u00eenfipt \u00een fotoliu la televizor cu telecomanda \u00een m\u00e2na, a\u015ftept\u00e2nd ca eu s\u0103 fac totul \u00een cas\u0103. Ziua 1: Azi am s\u0103rbatorit 25 de ani de c\u0103s\u0103torie\u2026\u015fi nu prea a fost prea mult de s\u0103rb\u0103torit. C\u00e2nd a venit momentul s\u0103 retr\u0103im noaptea nun\u0163ii, el s-a \u00eenchis \u00een baie \u015fi a pl\u00e2ns. … Continue reading “Jurnalul unei neveste”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[390],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3515","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3515","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3515"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3515\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3515"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3515"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/valeriupinzaru.ro\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3515"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}